Tears and Shadowed Eyes
by IlanaNight
Summary: Prompt from an anonymous tumblr user. Nightmares have kept Levi from sleeping for longer than he can remember, and Eren's started to notice their effects. Can anyone, or anything, bring an end to his sleepless nights?


Levi rarely slept anymore. He spent his nights with more productive activities, planning expeditions and writing up reports chief among them. All of this done by a dim lantern, curtains drawn. It would be better than none knew of his night habits.

Of course, for those who knew Levi, it was hard to miss. The shadows around his grey eyes got deeper and deeper, though those eyes didn't lose their determination until Levi was at the end of his endurance and sanity. Determination to bring an end to all of this, to remove the cause of his insomnia permanently.

The guilt and loneliness would never let him rest, not until the creatures that had slaughtered dozens under his command lay steaming at his feet. Until then, their faces would haunt him each time he closed his eyes, the sensation of blood ever-present on his hands.

But even the great Captain could not avoid sleep forever.

Each day without rest brought him closer to a breaking point. He snapped at the smallest of infractions, found himself plagued with splitting headaches, and had to be roused from bouts of lost focus. Levi's practice facade of invulnerability was slipping, and Jaegar wasn't helping in any way.

The teen had started spending much of his time in Levi's presence, whether it be for training or simply sitting and attempting to make conversation. Normally, Levi would be able to take all of Eren's questions with indifference and make an effort to ignore the boy, but that was becoming increasingly difficult.

Some part of Levi recognised that Eren's questions were asked out of genuine curiosity with no malicious intent. That same part also understood that the young man simply wanted someone to talk to who would look him in the eye with eyes holding anything but fear, disgust, and hatred. But, a sleep-deprived Levi really wasn't in the mood to listen to that rational part of him, and thus Eren ended up on the floor, blood trickling down from his nose as Levi walked out.

From the light filtering in through the windows, Levi presumed it was nearing sunset. With sluggish steps he made his way back to his room, sounds and images that weren't really there flickering on the edge of his consciousness. He had spent too long avoiding this, and it had come to haunt him even in waking. Laughter rang out in the back of his head and he turned, looking about, but saw no one. When that same laughter morphed into screams of anguish, Levi took off running in a burst of energy brought on by fear.

By the time he reached the door to his quarters, tears were burning in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He couldn't cry over the dead yet, not when there was still vengeance to be had. Levi shut the door behind him, not bothering to lock it. No one but Hanji or Erwin had the confidence to walk into his room, and both knew not to bother him when these days rolled around.

Tossing off his coat, Levi stumbled over to fall onto his bed with a deep sigh. Now, if only sleep would come easy to him, with how exhausted he was. But of course, he knew it wouldn't. Nightmares turned to hallucinations would chase him in circles before he would be allowed to succumb to unconsciousness.

It wasn't until he felt the wetness on his pillow that Levi became aware that he was crying. Anger at himself for such weakness only caused the hot tears to fall faster as one hand clutched his sheets, bunching up the fabric. Levi repressed the sobs threatening to rip out of his throat, it wouldn't do to have anyone find him like this.

Once Eren's nose had stopped bleeding, set and healed into position, he got up off the ground. The Captain's temper had been shorter than usual as of late, and Eren couldn't help but wonder why. He was used to being brushed off, told to stop with his questions, but never such a violent response.

Thus, against his better judgement, Eren found himself walking down the dark hallways to Levi's room. There was no noise coming from within, so Eren knocked. Perhaps Levi had drifted off to sleep, though it was still rather early. When no one answered the knocking and Eren's soft calling of Levi's name, the teen tried the doorknob, surprised to find it unlocked.

A great majority of Eren's mind was yelling at him, screaming that he should simply turn around and leave the Captain to his rest. Nothing good could possibly come from interrupting Levi in whatever he happened to be doing. And yet, Eren's worry silenced that part of him and he stepped in, quietly closing the door behind him.

The sight before him caused Eren to gasp and freeze in place. Levi was curled up on his side, face buried in his pillow while his body shook with the sobs that were repressed before they could make a sound. His breath was coming in shallow gasps and his hand had a .white-knuckled grip on his sheets.

"Captain Levi?" Once the shock wore off, Eren whispered Levi's name, slowly stepping closer. He watched as the hand tightened in response, veins bared from the tension in his arms.

"Get out." Levi's voice was hoarse, though through sheer will he kept it from shaking as it wanted to. He couldn't believe that the brat had walked into his room. Couldn't he have simply let Levi cope in peace? For Levi refused to acknowledge this episode as a breakdown, no, it was his way of coping.

But Eren didn't heed Levi's command, instead stepping closer until he could finally sit on the edge of the bed. One hand reached out to lightly touch Levi's hair, remembering that his mother had often done the same for him when he was troubled. "No, Captain. If only because no one deserves to be alone when they're upset." And as Levi's mouth opened, Eren placed his other hand over it, "And don't even think about telling me you're not upset, because I can see the tear tracks."

Out of spite, Levi bit the hand over his mouth, drawing a yelp out of Eren as the teen pulled that hand back, "And why would you care, Jaegar?" Despite his cold reaction, his head tilted slightly into the hand in his hair, a subconscious reaction born from so long without such comforting actions.

"Because you're important, Levi. To humanity, to the squad, ...and to me." The slightest tinge of rouge dusted Eren's cheeks at the admission, but he stuck to it nonetheless. "And thus I'm going to help you in any way I can, and the only way I can see right now is staying here with you." There was a stubborn determination in Eren's face as he said that, he wouldn't leave until he was certain Levi was feeling better.

Eren suddenly found himself yanked from his seated position down to lay on the bed beside Levi. The Captain's face was set in a line, wrinkles of exhaustion and tear tracks dimming the usual expression, "If you're so determined to stay here, then make yourself comfortable. Just don't say a goddamned word to anyone about this, brat, or I'll tan you where everyone can watch."

The threat had Eren smiling, glad to see that no matter what was bothering Levi, he still had a bit of his temperament in tact. Taking Levi's suggestion, he wrapped the covers around the both of them before settling one arm over Levi's waist. The smaller man stiffened at the touch, eyes narrowing but Eren simply shook his head, "I can see you haven't been sleeping, Levi. And the most common reason for not sleeping is nightmares. Whenever I used to have nightmares, my mother would lay beside me and hold me, and they wouldn't come back so long as she was there. I'm willing to bet it'll work the same way with you." Tears gleamed in Eren's eyes at the memory of his mother, but he pressed through with a smile.

Levi sighed before giving in to the long-buried affectionate side of his mind and placed his head on Eren's chest, resting his ear right over Eren's heart and settling when the strong sound of beating filled his ears. He couldn't hold back the sobs now, something in what Eren had said, or perhaps simply in his presence, had broken that barrier. The ragged noises poured from his throat as he clenched his eyes shut, submerging himself in the pain for the first time in years. And once he started he couldn't stop.

Both of Eren's arms wound up wrapped around Levi as the teen rubbed the distressed man's back, ghosting his hands down Levi's spine. He hummed softly, hoping to calm Levi as he shook and cried, but in the end Eren knew that Levi needed time to bleed himself dry, to let out all of the anguish he had kept pent up. So Eren just let him cry, murmuring encouragements in his ear and reminding Levi that he was not alone in the world.

That night, after what could have been minutes, could have been hours of crying, Levi slept. He didn't toss, didn't cry out in his sleep. Levi simply slept. For the first time since he took up a position of leadership in the Survey Corps, and perhaps for the first time since joining at all, Levi slept an entire night through without waking once. And when he finally did awake to the rays of sun filtering in through the curtains, it wasn't with fear, but rather with contentment and an unfamiliar warmth. The warmth of another person, of another life that had entwined itself with his own.

Perhaps Levi had finally found a cure to his nightmares. Perhaps it had been there beside him all along.


End file.
